To rent your property, you can go to a real estate agency that will do things right, or try to do it yourself, by writing your ad yourself. Some know how to do it, which we obviously don’t care about, and others post totally toxic ads with sick claims. They are the ones that interest us since we share with you illico presto 11 totally abused apartment ads.
Ps: We usually avoid doing this but today I tell you: 11 WILL SHOCK YOU.
1. A good plan as we rarely see
“I am a woman in her 60s and I am looking for a roommate. Times are tough and I need extra money.
I am ready to rent my bathroom in my 1 bedroom house.
My bathroom is big. You can easily put a double air mattress on it. I only ask that when I need to use the bathroom, you and the air mattress are gone.
I ask that when you are here, you limit yourself to the bathroom. I am not comfortable with a stranger walking into my living room. You can have guests as long as you both stay in the bathroom.
It may sound a bit strange, but remember that the rent is $400 and the bathroom is big. »
2. What do you do if you are hungry at 8:01 pm?
“Room for rent $250 per week plus utilities. Good size room with own bathroom and access to kitchen from 7-8 pm Up to two guests are allowed on Saturday between 1-9 pm as long as they stay in their room. Non-smoker/drinker. No negative comments thank you. »
3. Pay my rent and take care of me please
“I’m looking for someone who is willing to live in my three-bedroom apartment while I’m away and who is willing to pay $1500 a month for six months and randomly babysit for the six months, with at least a month’s notice if I’m absent during the night? An idea ??? »
4. And what do we do if we want to… like… eat?
” Vacant. I am looking for a calm, responsible and clean person. Visitors and cooking are not allowed.
I have 2 cats, you must like animals. »
5. Can you live there without living there please?
The announcement is long, so here are the best parts:
“CALLING ALL FLIGHT AGENTS – Perfect little room in East Boston right next to Logan Airport – $600
We are two close roommates looking for a Boston based flight attendant to add to our September lease on our apartment. […] Our last roommate was a stewardess and this arrangement worked very well as she flew often so we weren’t on top of each other all the time. We would also consider someone who spends most of their time elsewhere/in someone else’s home with their own home etc. The thing is, we are looking for someone who will NOT be home all the time.
About the roommates: Me and the other roommate, Oreste, are close friends. We are silly and fun and love to play music/sing and spend time together. We are a bit loud when we get into a heated discussion, but we are respectful and not obnoxious. »
6. You can be there when I’m not
– No pets
– No guests
– No smoking in the unit – It is okay to go downstairs and smoke outside the building.
About me: 29 year old female, I work and am rarely home all week and weekend nights. I am not looking for the typical roommate experience, I do not want to share common areas when I am at home (living room, dining room or patio) but you are more than welcome when I am not. […] »
7. So the nanny works only for you without earning any money?
“I have a separate one bedroom suite with a walk-in closet and full bath that I am willing to allow a free nanny to live in, in exchange for babysitting services. PM me for details. »
8. And here it is frankly the nanny who pays
“$600/month, utilities included, 1 bedroom furnished […] must be okay with pets and must help with cleaning, no drugs. Female preference, single mom is ok, should be able to look after my 7 year old Monday-Thursday 3:15-2:30 at the moment, my shift may change but will be given plenty of advance notice, would need to be picked up at the school on Monday. until Thursday. »
9. $1300 a week to take care of animals and plants, makes you enviiii
“I am looking for someone to rent my house for 8 days while I go to the US for New Years.I have to take care of my cat, dog and plants while I am away. Please clean it too.
81 square meters, it has two rooms, but you can only use one room because the other one is mine. I am willing to allow $1300 per week (reasonable and a bargain as this is a $7000 per month apartment) located in the mid levels of Sheung Wan.
Send a PM for more details »
10. Pay to become our slave
“We are a family of 3, no pets, and we have a very simple house in Eagle.
We are looking for someone to live with us, for minimal rent, who can help keep the house clean (we both work full time). This means cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen (I cook a lot), and vacuuming or dusting when needed. Garden work is also necessary. This person should be a trustworthy person who has a day job. No drugs of any kind. Plenty of parking spaces available. »
11. And the award for most horrible ad goes to… (wait, it’s disgusting)
« $450 Wicker Park – looking for a roommate
I don’t really need a roommate, but I would like a girl to live here. Don’t worry if you’re messy or something, I have a cleaning lady who comes twice a month. She is fine for drinkers. Don’t smoke because I just quit. You can take all the drugs you want in your room. If they are good, you have to share… hahaha.
I work and I’m not there often. Man, in good shape. 27 years. I have everything, tv, stereo, food processor, slow cooker, good knives. All you need is a bed and bedroom furniture.
Rent is $450.00 with services to be performed if you have a MEDIUM physical, which means a 6 out of 10. For each point more towards 10/10, you can subtract $100.00. So if you think you’re a 7, $350, and if you’re a 10, you pay $50.00.
The same if it goes the other way around. If you’re a 1 or something like that, be prepared to shell out $950 a month. Of course, I will be the judge. If you want, we can also choose three people from the street and take the average of the three. Oh, and the rent can change from month to month (ie you sit down and eat onion nachos every day and put on 30 pounds, you better be prepared to shell out a few extra bucks). The greatness of the person you are or your personality will not affect your score.
By the way, no parties, not many guests unless you are 7 or older and your female guests are 7 or older.
Good luck. »
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